Perfect
by Angus MacSpon
Summary: He only wanted to be perfect. But perfection has its price ... and behind its mask may lie something altogether different.


Perfect  
  
by Angus MacSpon  
  
Based on characters and situations created by Naoko Takeuchi, and used  
without permission. Comments and criticism welcome!  
  
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Yeah, I 'member th'first time 't happen. Was in th'ol' alleyalleyalley,  
heh, hmm. Nice big dumpster there, give 's bit o'shelter. Heh. Wind's  
pretty cold this time'a year. Smell? Heh, heh, heh. Don't 'member last  
time I smelled nothin.' Prob'ly jus's well, heh. Don' 'member las' time  
I washed, either.  
  
Bottle in my hands was nearly empty. You don' have a li'l on you --? No.  
Figures. Jus' it helps take th'shakes away, y'know? Heh, heh. I know  
li'l someth'n' else does that, too.  
  
Th's bottle was cheap crap, but who gives a fuck? Leas' 'twasn't meths,  
haven' gone th't far yet. Soon, maybe. Heh, 's a guy a few blocks over  
drinks kerosene. Y'think I smell bad? Take a look 't him, heh. Won' see  
him much longer, I expec.'  
  
Sorry. Jus' wipe it off.  
  
Then, alla' sudden I feel this ... this thing, y'know? Like som'th'n's  
callin' me? Fuck, I dunno. An' I stan' up an' somethin' happens an' I get  
this crazy feelin' and suddenly I know what I have to do. In another moment  
I find myself leaping effortlessly over the rooftops, following the siren  
call in my mind. As I touch down outside my destination, a small jewelry  
shop, I notice my reflection in the window and for a moment I think I've  
slid over the edge, that the DTs have got me at last; for it is a Lon Chaney  
lookalike who stares back at me, a slim young man in an impossibly perfect  
tuxedo and a mask that seems to glimmer in the moonlight.  
  
But the call is still in my head, so I make my way inside. There is a young  
girl there, as improbably dressed as I, beset by nightmarish forms. I do  
what comes naturally.  
  
Afterward, I leave the jewelry shop, exultant. The craving for drink is  
gone; I am well-dressed, affluent-looking. There is money in my pocket  
from somewhere. Somehow, impossibly, I have been given a second chance, and  
this time I know I can get it right. And sure enough, everything seems to  
fall into place. I find lodgings. The next day, I even find a job. My  
life is perfect.  
  
A week later, as I am walking home from work, I suddenly feel an awful  
draining, sapping sensation; the world seems to spin about me an' then I'm  
crawlin' down an alley pukin' my guts out an' feelin' worse'n anyth'n' I  
ever felt before, an' shit ... 's like I been robbed, th' mos' perfec' ...  
bright ... shit. Wha'd YOU know 'bout it, anyway? I try t' get t'my  
apartmen' an' th'doorman won' even look 't me. Figures. End'a th'day I'm  
back at th' fuckin' dumpster, but with no bottle th's time. Perfec', sure.  
Thanks f'r nothin.'  
  
Few days later, 't all happens 'gain. Weird shit in m'head, th'world goes  
crazy, an I'm Mr Perfect again. I help the sailor girl out, and afterward  
I return to my apartment. Life is sweet. And then it wears off an' sun'ly  
I'm Wino Chiba in the gutter ag'n. C'n you imagine? Wh'that's like? Shit.  
'Course not.  
  
Please. Have you got ... jus' a li'l ...? I need ...  
  
Yeah. Heh. But I work 't all out in th'end. How t'do it. Change. I c'n  
do it whenever I want, become perfect. When it wears off again, when the  
transformation ebbs, I'm back in th'fuckin' gutter, screamin' f'r a drink,  
but I c'n jus' change back again and resume my perfect life.  
  
Then, after a while, I notice that the transformations aren't lasting as  
long.  
  
From a week, they become five days. Then three. Then one. Then I wake  
up in a bed fulla piss 'n puke an' I 'member tha's only few hours since I  
b'came Tuxedo Perfuckboy. An' I change, and then I change the sheets, and  
even then I'm still thinking that I can find a way to solve this. It's all  
going wrong, but I can find a solution. Somehow. It's not supposed to be  
this way. I need ... I need to be perfect ...  
  
Heh. Perfec,' yeah. Y'wanna know perfec'? Las' time I change, y'know  
how long't lasted? Two minutes. Tha's perfec' for ya. I was think'n ...  
that girl, Usako whatever, heh, maybe she c'n help, so 'm runnin' t'find  
her when 't wears off an' I'm lyin' in th'road in th'nice part'a town an'  
y'c'n guess that th'police're real happy t'see me, heh heh heh.  
  
So here I am. Th'old dumpster's like home, always ready t'welcome me  
back. Apartment's prob'ly gone now too, I expec' th'landlord thinks I  
skipped on th'rent. Heh. Pretty Miss Moon wouldn' even recog ... rec ...  
know me 'f she saw me either.  
  
If I jus' had a li'l drink. Jus' t' clear m'head. Then I c'd change  
back to Him, easy, I bet. For good this time. I have to ... to be  
perfec' again. If I jus' had one li'l drink ...  
  
Please. Can't you spare ...? 


End file.
